Day ELEVEN. 106 days to go.

Day TEN. 108 days to go.

5/3 run with a little extra run here and there.

Today was amazing. A cool breeze and ten degrees cooler than our runs have been so far. I know that the heat and humidity is not gone but it was a nice break. Today was also the first day that all 5 of us have made it out to the same run. Busy ladies with busy schedules making the commitment and sacrifice to do what it takes to achieve goals that we have set. All to run the Rock N Roll San Antonio Half Marathon but all with different goals as well. It was nice to feel like I had a good strong run today and to see the difference in my times. I am not naive to not realize I still have a long way to go to be ready for this run but I will take this one win for today.

And one of the little extra pushes came from this little guy. I refrained from cursing but cautiously moved to the other side of the road and then took off running!

Day NINE. Listening to my body.

I got this notification on my phone while i was at work. A little encouragement from run keeper to keep me motivated and on track with my goal. Made me smile at 9 pm. Had me feeling conflicted at 7 am the next day. After a very rough night at work I had a decision to make. Do I push through, get my run on and do Camp Gladiator? This is after all, part of why i changed my schedule. But as i got off work I was exhausted. But this thing i signed up for and committed to do, it takes dedication and dedication means pushing through. I have done a lot of pushing through in my life and i can do it but today i decided to do something a little different. My body said "hey i need a break, I need some rest and a good sleep." I am working out 5-6 times a week these days and I need to if I am going to push through this plateau and be successful at running 13.1 miles in December. But sometimes something has to give. And i was feeling myself begin to fray. So i decided to listen to my body. I went home from work and decided that i would lay on the couch until time for CG. I would hold off on the run and if i was still awake at the time for CG I would do that and then run. But if i were asleep I would take that cue from my body. Needless to say, i was passed out. So there was no workout and no run today. And in this moment I do not feel guilty about it. Now a few minutes ago I did. And I am sure a few minutes later I will too but i have to resolve, especially as i age that although this fitness focus is good, it is also important to listen to my body and at times, take time to rest.

                                 

Day EIGHT. 113 days to go.

I think it is fair to say that I NEVER want to get up for a run. Something about staying up as late as I could last night to aid in transitioning to nights today, however, made it extra hard. Knowing I could come him and go back to sleep did not make it any easier or less early. But I made a commitment that every one knows about but more importantly to myself. I have plenty of excuses to get out of this. My knee is killing me and I tweaked my sciatic nerve yesterday. My body is telling me I am getting too old to do this to my body. Too much, too late. But I have paid for this race and made the commitment for myself more than anything. It pushes me beyond what I think I can do which is a life lesson in general as well.

 But i also did something else today that pushed everything in me. The spandex shorts I wear under my athletic shorts have seen better days and at this point have become a bit holy. Frankly, I would love to run out and buy another pair, but finding them in the length I want has proven a little difficult and spending money on that right now is not a priority. My running partner always runs in long tights and a shirt and i have a pair of those that I usually wear under shorts but today i got brave. I work the tight pants which hugged every ounce of my imperfect body to run in. I did my best to lay aside any concerns about what others would think if they saw me and I ran. Im still not convinced that it was not gross to look at but it was so nice to not have to retrieve my shorts which ride up my fat thighs the whole time I run. I am not saying this is a permanent change but I took a brave step or maybe leap, outside of my comfort zone.

This was, in no way one of our faster runs. We did 5/3 intervals and added a mile as we begin the process of working up to our 13.1 miles by way of long runs. One foot in front of the other, one run at a time. That is success. Not the pace but that I get up every day and push forward.

                                                   

Day SEVEN. 115 days to go.

Its run day again!!! And I am back with the gourd for this one with even more appreciation for them after the last run being solo. I woke up ready to run this morning and felt strong. I even thought about running a little extra for most of the run. Then i started hearing the complaints of my knees and back and realized that I was going to be okay with JUST 3 miles.

Never in my mind a year ago would I have imagined thinking a 3 mile run would be a short run. I may not be fast and can only compete with myself but man do i plan on kicking the butt of the Ivy that run her first half marathon in March.

Day SIX. 119 days to go.

Solo run today after working all night. I got my three miles done but it was most difficult to stick with my 5/3 intervals. I did it though. I was so tired but pushed through. I had to decide what I wanted most and in this time and place my health and this training is what I will give my time to. Even when I have been up all night, even when I have to do it alone. Just turn up the jams and watch for cars!!! Then grab a quick camp gladiator before heading home where I am about to crash and burn!

Day FIVE. 122 Days to go.

5/3 Intervals

I struggle with the desire to be honest here conflicting with the desire to encourage and keep a positive attitude. But then I think of the blogs i read in preparation for starting this process. I searched Pinterest and Google both for obese running tips. I found several blogs with tips. From people who were 10-30 pounds overweight. More power to you but I have a lot more than that to carry with me on my runs. So here is the truth . . . todays run sucked! Yes I did it and that is an accomplishment. I showed up, I did my 3 miles and done. But my body felt especially heavy today. I was stiff and felt ever pound of overweight that I am with every step I took. I found not once but twice on run intervals, i simply could not keep going and had to punk out before our 5 minutes was up. Let me be clear, running is not easy. Not for me, not for this body. Im not sure what gave out first, my knees or my determination but something gave. My time was slower, I was hurting and lacked some serious motivation. And hopefully I can put this behind me and move forward. Yes I got up and went and I finished what i set out to do. But i want to do more. I want success. This is not an easy task that I have set out to accomplish. It will be filled with good runs, and runs that i hate. But i will persevere and I will grow strong. I will keep moving forward thanks to my running buddies at my side. And I will be a true fat kid running, doing the unimaginable for the second time in ONE year!


I got up on my ONE day off this week, with a 4:30 AM alarm. I didn't have to but I did.

Day FOUR. 124 Days to go.

One would think that it would take longer than Day FOUR to hit a wall. To be so over it that even the most influential pep talk would fail. I did not run today. Tuesday mornings I don't get off work until 7 am and my little running group runs at 5:15 am. No problem I said. I will run on my own as soon as i get off Tuesday mornings. At least its a short run and my new schedule will allow me to consistently do long runs with my group. But i was tired. I knew if i got started it would be okay and I would wake up a little. But leaving work I couldn't even keep my eyes open to drive home. I drove to the place I planned to run and where I would do Camp Gladiator afterwards. And I sat there. My feet and my body were too heavy to move after being up for two days straight with just a 2 hour nap.

I DID NOT RUN>

I managed to stick it out for Camp Gladiator then went home and passed out. I was sleep deprived and did not get out later in the day because it was so hot. I failed the test of my will today. It makes me sad that it came so quickly in the process. I want to beat myself up and quit now. But I won't. I will do my best to put today behind me and start over again on Thursday. I will get up early on my day off to run with my group and I will move forward in training for Rock N Roll Half in San Antonio!

Day THREE. 126 days to go.

5/5 Intervals

Today was a real test. I missed out on the group run due to another engagement. A dear and sweet friend of mine is getting married and her bridal shower was more important to me than running. I know . . . gasp. Yes it takes some sincere dedication to train for a half marathon but I have some other priorities at time. I planned ahead though. I found someone not in our running group who had interest in a little run and scheduled ahead of time for today. I can go out for a run on my own well enough, but sticking to those intervals becomes quite difficult. Went out to the country for this run, it was a nice change of scenery. It was also different being the one who was pushing and watching the intervals, that is normally Misty's job. I have to be pushed because I am mentally weak. As we were running, i thought about this. I am far from "in shape" and i have nowhere near the body that you would see on a typical runner. And yes i run intervals. I couldn't run 3 miles straight if my life depended on it, but intervals come with there perks . . . i burn more fat that way- check out the research. But today i had someone ask to run with me. I gave a few tips here and there and encouraged through text the night before. Physically, i see changes, regardless of how slow but today i took a step back and saw something more. I have been told i inspire and frankly i can't see how this gross body running would be an inspiration but today i realized i was the one pushing and educating and leading the way for the small group of 2.

One of the first pieces of the puzzle . . . A ReFit Revolution.

Many years ago, the physical aspect of my fitness journey started with a group of young ladies who would later start their own fitness business called Refit. It started with one of those instructors, who saw me in the gym and remembered my name. I know that seems silly but in a world where I had been overlooked or only seen in a negative light it was a breath of fresh air. She then invited me to her classes at a local church which was a little less intimidating than the gym that I was trying to navigate with eyes closed and tail tucked. So despite it being in a church, I said yes and i showed up. I had met the other ladies in this group of instructors while attempting to stick it out at the gym and I made some quick judgements. Lets just leave it at those judgements were not very nice. As i began to attend their classes however, what I saw was that even though they looked like “the others” to me, their heart was to love on each person who walked through the door and they helped me see success even in the midst of the fat sweaty mess that I was. 

And when I say fat sweaty mess I mean it! We did Zumba and in a humorous attempt to deal with what i was experienced i referenced it being easier for me because once you got my fat moving it just didn't stop because there was so much of it. But I did it. And I kept coming back and kept moving. I wasn’t losing weight but I was taking steps towards health. I transitioned with these ladies from church gym to their own studio; I might have been their biggest fan. But it wasn’t the workout alone but the knowledge that they knew my name, they cared about who I was and that I was getting physical and social needs met in this place. I began to breathe a little bit easier and move with a little less pain. I knew that I would not be judged for having two left feet or missing the beat. Walking into the studio was a little slice of home every time. All shapes and sizes were in that place. I was accepted with what I had but pushed to do more. This was the first place where i felt like i fit and had the freedom to give my all, whatever that looked like. 

These ladies wanted me to succeed and they still cheer me on to this day. They are not my primary fitness source in this season but I still "go home" every once in a while because I miss it and it is fun!